Judith Sills, PhD
Viking Books, 2004. The Penguin Group,
Report submitted by Dale Zobell, WELD
This book was obtained from the Utah State University Merrill Library and was chosen because the title and summary suggested this would be of interest to me. I was not disappointed as Dr. Sills expertly identified critical areas and then developed them in such a way as to keep the book interesting and useful.
The book is tilted "The Comfort Trap" but an alternative title is "What if You're Riding a Dead Horse". All of us have experienced the dead horse situation at least once in our life. This may be due to personal or business associations, employment etc. We all become comfortable in these associations but often times we are not really getting anywhere - and we need to know when to let go or make changes in our life.
The book generally addresses the following seven steps:
1. Face what hurts
2. Create a vision
3. Make a decision
4. Identify your pattern
5. Let go
6. Face your fear
7. Take action
I could go into more depth on each of these subjects but would not do justice to them. I would suggest anyone afraid of facing change read this book. Dr. Sills is a clinical psychologist and uses many examples to make her points.
Often the changes we are looking for are not large but will mean altering what we do, how we think or how we associate with others. This latter point I found very interesting in my present Extension assignment. We develop and present various education programs within our county, state or region but sometimes it is time to let some of them go and move on. This often affects other people but is necessary in order to be effective. As we develop leadership skills it is important how work with others and how to motivate them to change if we feel this is important for them.
Other notes I took that I keep close by include:
- When leaving an old platform find some creative expression, serve others and stretch.
- We must understand there is no one right choice. Whatever we choose will involve some loss, some pain, or some difficulty even if you choose to stay exactly where you are. You can only make the decision you are capable of today, because today is when the question is called.
The seven points Dr. Sill developed were very interesting but the chapter or section on facing your fear I found intriguing. We all have fears such as rejection - what if we build a magnificent Extension program and no one comes? What if it is successful then what do we do next? Will administration realize my worth to the university etc. etc. Sometimes we just have to make the decision to go forward and see what happens.
This is a short report on this book but I would recommend it to anyone either to assist them professionally or personally. There are many examples throughout the book that relates to personal matters - relationships etc. Outside our positions in Extension we have personal lives and we should always be striving to make them as positive and fulfilling as we can for ourselves and those we live with.