"Negotiating for Your Life"
by Nicole Schapiro

Book Report by Mary Rumph, Powder River County, Montana

 
As the July 31st deadline loomed and I had convinced myself day after day that I really did not have time to read the book I had selected, I became involved in a  major dispute over the use of our Fairbarn (can any of you relate?).  The winter "ropers" left the barn in terrible condition and now we (Fair Board and I) are preparing for Fair and have to deal with the mess.

Last week (mad! mad! mad!), I scheduled a meeting with the County Commissioners for Monday  morning. Over the weekend it dawned on me that this book might actually contain  information of value as I met with them to discuss barn use policy and  consequences. And guess what...it did.  "The goal of negotiation is to build bridges, not walls." Nicole Schapiro

"When two people have different goals, negotiation is the communication process  you both enter to get to an agreement that is something both of you can live  with. It may not e the ideal situation for either one, but is makes an  'agreement zone' that's comfortable for each." Barbara Beck

"Negotiating happens when two people or parties both s\want something that may  cost the other something. The art of negotiation is to see this point of  conflict as a creative moment. For both can actually end up getting more than  what they originally went after." Joan Brozovich

"Negotiating is what we do to achieve something we want." Juanita Le Owens

The author, Schapiro, sees negotiating as a "cooperative process" and calls it  "partnership negotiation"...it is a mutual education process.  There are risks involved when we try to change a situation for the better...to  do so means challenging the status quo, the "powers that be." It means taking  risks - and risking loss: loss of someone's love or friendship, loss of a job or  income, loss of respect or security or power.

Negotiation is a process in which we can make a difference. The cost is risk. As  Schapiro's grandfather stated, "If you have tried to do something and failed,  you are vastly better off than if you have tried nothing." Schapiro identifies four different types of people who one might be negotiating  with:
1) Steamrollers
2) Butterflies
3) Datacrats
4) Nice guys

I identified our three commissioners as a steamroller, datacrat, and a nice guy,  respectively. Different approaches are recommended with each.  Preparation is key to successful negotiation. You must be clear on your goal.   "People are often more willing to give us what we want if they know exactly what  we want, instead of being confronted with general dissatisfaction.

"If we bear down too hard on most substances, they will resist us, condense, or break apart." Schapiro

It was an insightful book and the timing was perfect in preparing for a  "negotiating session" with the Commissioners. It helped me define a clear goal  (in two words or less); I was able to offer solutions (instead of just complaining); and it helped me approach the commissioners from a cooperative  standpoint instead of a confrontational position. The meeting went  well...however, time will tell if any changes of policy are effective.