by the Arbinger Institute.

Reviewed by Kevin Heaton, WELD III Intern and Utah State University Extension Agent Kane and Garfield Counties.

Many people think of themselves as hard working, good employees and if problems exist in their work place that blame can be pointed toward certain people or behaviors.  Since reading this book, I've discovered that my self deception could cause others to be problem employees.  For example, in the work place I could be compared to a small baby learning how to crawl.  The baby starts out wiggling backwards until it gets stuck underneath the couch.  It wails and cries and blames the couch and surroundings for its problems.  In actuality, the baby is the one that created the problem.  By simply going forward, its problems would disappear. 

In the work place, great working relationships result in high productivity.  Supervisors can destroy great working relations by thinking of their colleagues and subordinates as objects.  This thinking leads to believing that subordinates are inferior, unproductive and even incompetent.  In turn, they unknowingly treat them as inferior, unproductive and incompetent.  People treated as inferior, unproductive or incompetent perform as such and lose their desire to help and/or perform to their best ability.  Most importantly, they lose allegiance to the organization and do not care if the organization succeeds or fails. 

Self betrayal starts this process.  Self betrayal is simply, 'an act contrary to what I feel I should do for another person.  Through self betrayal, one begins to see the world in a way that justifies self betrayal and essentially distorting reality, similar to the young child trapped in the couch.  Over time this distortion of reality becomes a characteristic of the person. 

This book does not allude to an easy fix or simple way to change.  It highlights what doesn't work:  1. trying to change others, 2. Doing your best to "cope" with others, 3. Leaving, 4. Communicating, 5. Implementing new skills or techniques, or 6. Changing your behavior.  The only way to correct the behavior is to remove self betrayal.  Sincerely and honestly view people as people and doing everything in your power to help them out.